Lets Get Skinny

Fair Warning:  This blog contains personal material!

A few blog posts ago I wrote about my personal goal to get into a bikini for my honeymoon.  I started last semester at 135lbs

 I started this semester at 130lbs, and I now weigh..

125 lbs!

Now, this is not mission accomplished by any means of the phrase.  Although my body composition may be deemed acceptable for a bikini, I would still feel incredibly uncomfortable in one.

Why?  It has come to my attention that unless I looks like the women on the fitness channel, I probably won't be satisfied.

Red flag.

That's not healthy.  Last week it came to my attention that maybe I wasn't going about this the right way.  I mean I lost 10lbs since the engagement, that's amazing!  But it doesn't feel amazing.  So I came up with a list of encouraging differences I've noticed, such as dropping a whole pants size and seeing my hip bones again.  But I became concerned about eating enough or eating enough of each food group.  In the past (like way past, a good 6 years past)  I had limited my eating to what I would consider a disorder.  I looked good, but I wasn't healthy.  It's funny because I can still hear my dad saying "she never eats!"  That situation will not happen again!

I checked in my with my amazing nutritionist sister and she said I have a healthy diet (YES!!!) and perhaps I just need to cross train.  I'm in the gym about 5 times a week including Taekwon-Do and I just started weights.  I probably won't ever look like Jillian Michaels, but hey who cares (ok, I care).

I think there's a difference between the whole "you're beautiful just the way you are" and being the best you that you can be.  I know that I'm beautiful just the way I am and Jude tells me that EVERYDAY because he's amazing (and its true :D )  I'm on a journey really to see what I can be.

Can you imagine that I went from being in the gym NEVER to being down there multiple times a week?

I remember I had shared with a friend that I had been trying to lose weight and his response was, "I don't know why you girls always do this to yourselves.  Just buy a bigger dress!"

The dress already fits.  It made me think, what's this all about anyway?

Well, I said all that to say that maybe I should change my goal.  My new goal is not "let's get skinny."  It's more like "let's be the best me I can be."  That means being healthy first.  Everything else will fall into place!!  It doesn't mean I'm going back to junk food or getting out of the gym, its just a different way of thinking and it makes all the difference.

34 more days :)